the unconscionable crimes that my husband has committed this week.
Just to get you up to speed, the boys have been down on the farm for the past week.
The first day they were gone, a lady hit my van. She just didn't see me and decided that she needed to be in the left-turn lane. Unfortunately, I was in left-turn lane.
$975 worth of damage. No one hurt though.
So the week was got off to a grand start. Then the PMS began.
Night 1: dealing with the wreck.
Night 2: I discover that ZD has eaten the last of the chocolate pudding.
Night 3: I discover that ZD has eaten all of my Fudge Stripe Cookies.
Night 4: I discover that ZD has eaten all of the chocolate ice cream and left the counter, blender, and cabinets all chocolately.
Night 5: I find an empty box of fudgecicles in the freezer. (Hmmm...it was not empty when the boys left.)
Night 6: I discover that there is absolutely no chocolate in the entire house but there are plenty of healthy fruit strips and fat free snacks.
I haven't killed him yet. But I am considering a padlocked cabinet for my chocolate.
5 comments:
Dang, I can't believe he's let his survival instincts get so rusty in his line of work.
What kind of man eats all of his wife's chocolate?! That's grounds for divorce, in my opinion. I know my husband would not even CONSIDER such a crime. In fact, I once thought to give up chocolate for Lent, and my beloved shook his adamantly and said, "NO! You need chocolate! It's some kind of drug or something!"
See, this is what they do not tell the guys in their redeployment briefings. Do not eat wife's chocolate. I believe that a certain percentage of PTSD cases could be avoided if men would just stop eating all the chocolate and pick up their socks when they return home from war.
I'm so sorry to hear about the van. It's still a pain to have to deal with. But I'll admit...I'm not sure what's worse, the van or having the chocolate wiped out by one's husband. I'm sooo sorry to hear this has occured.
I wonder if a mouse trap would teach him a lesson?
For the love of God ZD, what where you thinking man, what were you thinking?!
Oh, and I'm sorry about the van, that's awful.
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