In which Sheila considers male chastity belts and is thankful for alarm systems

I meant to share this yesterday but I forgot because I spent the day preparing to put up Christmas decorations. (Preparing because the house is currently overfull of all my other stuff and I have to move that stuff out and replace it with all my evergreens, berries, creches, and little trees.)

Tuesday night is pizza night. This was born out of the fact that if I have a meeting or a class to teach or the boys have sports practice or some other obligation....inevitably it will be on Tuesday night. ZD is not a big fan of pizza so I usually swing by his favorite Chinese food place and pick up Hunan Shrimp or Egg Foo Yung. (Both of which Andrew adores. He used to call them "Human" shrimp and Egg "food yum")

I thought I'd kill two birds with one stone and send my oldest boy, Jacob, into the store to grab some cokes while I picked up the Hunan shrimp. I left the other three boys in the van to wait. Oh....yes that led to discovering another cool thing about the new van.
Apparently, there is a anti-theft system. If you lock the van with the remote, which I did, the system automatically turns on. I knew this but I forgot until the alarm went off as I walked out with ZD's highly coveted shrimp.
My van has a very loud horn. Seriously loud. So loud that it set off the alarm on the car two spaces away from it. I knew before I opened the door what I would find inside: two laughing boys and one in tears.
It turns out that, while there is no motion sensor in the van, if the alarm system is activated...unlocking any of the doors from the inside will set off the alarm. Which is exactly what my youngest child did. He won't be doing it again, now that he knows that everyone in the parking lot will know what he's up to.

While all this was going on, my oldest was over in the grocery store being preyed upon.
"I'm not going to be able to go in there anymore. I'm developing a reputation," he told me as he got in the van. I asked him what gave him that idea. "The cashier said, 'Oh, I remember you.' when I went through the line."
I'm in this store a lot so I start in my head down the list of cashiers. "Was she young or older?"
"She's 16," he answered and I swear he had a on a poker face.
So that got me wondering why in the world he would know how old the cashier was. He wasn't gone long enough to get into life stories.
"She told me she was 16."
"Did you tell her you were 12?" It was dawning on me what exactly was going on in the Bi-Lo.
"Yeah, and she said 'Well, you don't look 12.'" and then he smiled kind of sheepishly. "I told her that I get that a lot."

The girl was flirting with my boy! Holey smokes! Those girls are bold these days. I would be put out but I know she had to be horrified when she found out that he was only 12. (Even though he's close to 6 feet tall and wears a size 15 shoe.) So that kind of evens it out for me. I knew which cashier he was talking about, a tall pretty blonde that works nights. I don't think you can be a cougar at 16.

I wonder if they make chastity belts with the same alarm features as the one on my van?