I know, I know... I've dropped off the face of the blogosphere....I apologize. Not only that, I've also rewarded you by writing my most parenthetical post ever. A personal record, I'm sure.
It's just tough to write when you're counting down. And folks, we've entered the countdown phase.
Countdown phase is so frustrating. It's like living life in some pause mode. "I don't want to start (insert some project or activity) because it's only (some number) days until my darling comes home." I mean why bother struggling to do things when you can just wait for some help to arrive.
Or worse...you end up with this huge list of things that just have to be done before your lovey gets back. Things you want to get done so you can prove that you really could handle it all.
So on the one hand, the ticker seems to crawl by. Ughhhhhh....these numbers aren't getting any smaller. On the other hand, you go to bed each night panicking at the fact that you have one less day to "get stuff done."
It's an awkward time. Oscillating between excitement and panic with a little insanity thrown in there for good measure. It would almost be better to not have an end date. The unknown is sometimes easier to handle than the known.
I'm trying my best to fill the time. The boys are helping.
Sam is especially helpful.
He decided to top last month's bite-through-his-lip stunt by swallowing a steel Magnetics ball. It's totally freaked out Pensguys and her boys. (She did get to see me in "action" though. I get awfully stoic when something crazy happens.)
That was a fun trip to the emergency room. The X-ray tech cracked up laughing at the bright white perfect circle that showed up in Sam's stomach.
Oh. the. joy.
I think he's passed it now. If not, it's sure not slowing him down any. I think nothing short of an elephant tranquilizer would do that.
Then I have 10 days until the new Harry Potter book. So that's something to look forward to. It'll distract me for a day or so. Then I have a couple of other really good books saved up for those final few days...for those nights that I won't be able to sleep at all.
I also have the knitting. I can always knit. I've recently procured....umm.... about 5 more balls of sock yarn which brings my total stash up to enough yarn to knit..... about 50 pairs. So I have plenty to keep me busy on that front
And I have my little eye procedure to occupy a couple more days. I can't even describe how much I'm looking forward to that lovely little occasion.
(insert sarcasm)
By they way, if you are eye squeamish in any way...do not click that link. It won't offend me at all. I freaked out when my mom had it done. The ever helpful ZooDad doesn't even want to discuss it and was horrified to learn that this would be done without any anesthesia other than some drops to numb my eyeballs.
And just planning the logistics for this will take up another few days. (MIL is taking the boys down to the farm on Sunday. My sister takes me to have the procedure Monday. My mom will "babysit" me Tuesday against my will. Then I pick up the boys and take Andrew to OT on Wednesday. I swear, my medical care involves an act of Congress.)
Plus we have another week of swimming lessons as further distractions. (Yep, I have unleashed Sam unto the populace. His swimming coach said that "He's a child that just doesn't get discouraged." That's code for "That little bugger is not giving up on anything. He's a fence rattler.") And that includes daily visits to lounge around the pool and getting brown and wrinkly.
We have a birthday party to attend. I have to get these weekly overview lesson plans finished. I really must finish the trim in the Horse-butt-tan living room and re-decorate. It would also be nice if I could start painting the boys room...but I wouldn't put money on that actually happening.
Plus tutoring two middle school students each week. They are lots of fun. Oh the gaps in their education! (And people wonder why I homeschool. I'm getting paid to re-teach kids from my zoned school. Do you think I'm going to send my kids there? )
(sigh)
I have less than two months to go.
Less than 60 days....though I can't tell you exactly how much less.
Whew....the end is in sight. I can't believe it.
It is almost over.
I would like to say that in less than two months our life will back to normal. But that's not true. We won't ever be back to what we were. That's gone. We're not those people anymore. All of this has changed us. It's hardened us. It has forged us.
In less than two months....we just start something new.
A new life....one that will have us all together.
And that's all that matters.
It's just the waiting part that is so hard.
3 comments:
Glad to see you are posting again. If you are still awake, give me a call. I won't call you at midnight, you're liable to think someone is in the hospital or something else horrible. But if you are awake, and feel like talking for a little bit, please call.
I remember how bad that countdown stuff was. Esp the last month or so. It is like life is on hold. So much of military life is hurry up and wait, and not knowing exactly when things are going to happen, and not having that tangible end of things, or a definite time where things are going to change is so hard.
ANd you are right, you will not ever be the same people you were a year ago. You have lived thru something life changing. You have learned things about yourselves. You know that you can remodel entire bathrooms on your own--if you didn't already know that.
You've been tested and tried, and you came thru almost all of it. The last part is something you will get thru too. It's really a lot like the last trimester of pregnancy, and you did that four times. LOL I think about you and the boys so often. I just never think to call until about now, which is midnight east coast time.
Take care SHeila, and if you need to talk, now or whenever, just call. I can't do much more than listen or distract you with our recent exploits, but I can do that. :)
That Sam! I'm glad he's so willing to help. At least as he gets older, there's hope that his antics may involve fewer trips to the ER and more trips to, well, anywhere other than the police station would probably be preferable, huh? {{{hugs}}} And thank heaven for a mom's ability to Go Stoic. People sing about Mama's loving arms, tender hymns, whatever - but it's the ability to get it together and get it done that makes certain everyone else only remembers the hugs and songs and that Mama makes it better.
And I'm glad your Mom will be there to babysit you, even if it is against your will.
Countdown!! I think that's worth the occasional parenthetical post, don't you?
Dy
I'm all tingly thinking about YOUR reunion! I love reunions. They don't make up for all the months of suffering, but reunions are a high without equal.
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