I do OK. The days kind of meld together but overall I'm handling being on my own. I do the stuff that I'm supposed to do.
I take care of the boys.
I keep the house reasonable.
I do some fun stuff for me.
I buy groceries.
I take small trips.
I do all the normal stuff.
But I don't ever feel normal.
Then sometimes it hits me. Blindsided by the realization that we have a long time to go.
It's been almost 5 months since ZooDad stopped living at our house. We have at least 44 weeks until he starts living here again.
The thought of that makes my stomach knot up.
44 weeks.
That's 22 pairs of socks I could knit.
And 44 books to read when I'm not knitting.
44 more trips to the grocery store.
132 hours in the waiting room at the hospital
88 hours waiting in the school parking lot
44 more funny papers to miss reading with Daddy
176 gallons of milk to drink
Until I think about it, I'm OK.
But when I do......
And I'm not the only one.
"I'm glad you took the boys to the Aquarium," said a scratchy voice on the phone line. The voice got quieter and sadder, "I wish I could have come too."
3 comments:
{{Hugs}} I know what you mean, and our next deployment is bearing down on us way to quickly.
((((HUGS))))
Just thought ya needed one.
Made me cry. I am having a tough few days. You seem like you are really holding it together, and I know that ZOO Dad is so comforted by that. It must make his job so much easier. You are doing a great job! What an awesome wife you are to recognize how hard it is on your husband to be away from you guys.
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