Because I just can't leave things alone

After Monday's meeting, I starting working up my new plan. (See I can manage anything with a plan. It's the whole "out there flappin' thing" that just rails on my nerves.)

My current plan for the "fellows of many needs" in our little zoo is:

Tuesdays: A gets 30 minutes of speech at school and them M gets his own 30 minutes of speech at school.
Wednesdays: M and A alternate OT in private therapy for 20 visits each and then we shell out some more big bucks to make up the rest of the 12 weeks of the year.
Fridays: A goes back to school for another 30 minutes of speech.
When summer hits, both boys go to private speech 1 hour a week for 20 visits each.
In the mean time I continue to fight the state for Medicaid bennies for A. I think this will turn out in our favor. So far all of the local cases have been reinstated. Let's just hope the judge agrees with us.
We will also have A re-evaluated using the Miller and Peabody pre-school tests. These new results go to the school and the state to fight for school therapy and re-instatement of state benefits.

Other news. I just got a call from our special needs coordinator. We have another meeting scheduled for the 30th, after she received further information from the state. I have no idea what that information is but I would HOPE that we wouldn't schedule a second meeting to tell us that A didn't qualify for services. That would just be cruel.

This all brings me back to that "things I have learned that I never thought I would have to" kind of feeling. Sometimes, I kind of step back and listen to the words I throw around in these meetings and think, "Dang girl, I don't remember anyone mentioning this stuff in childbirth class. This is soooooooo not what we signed up for."
A friend of mine told me that God gives parents these children with special needs to see how we will respond to the challenge. Whether we will view these children as a gift from God to treasure and do all we can for. Of if we will see them a burden to deal with.

I have to admit that sometimes I feel both ways. I see parents whose biggest worry is a kid with a cold and I envy them. They've never had to put a child under anesthesia for surgery. They've never watched a child with a feeding tube cry for milk. They've never sat with a child on a nubulizer fighting to breathe. They don't spend 4 hours a week in a waiting room, every week.

But then again to those people that first "momma" just isn't as sweet. Running down the hall without falling even once isn't that big of an achievement. A handwritten name with all the letters well formed and facing the right directions isn't grounds for a huge celebration. And they will never understand that making eye contact and saying "hello" to a stranger is a massive mountain to surmount.

And while I would love to spend just one day not having to make accommodations, I could imagine my life any different. My children's disabilities are just part of who they are. They will overcome them and it will make them stronger, more compassionate people in the end. And their "normal" brothers will benefit from watching their brothers preservere and succeed despite all that stuff in the way. They will learn true tolerance and acceptance. They will learn that anything that has value is worth working for. They will learn that it is their job when they become parents to do all they can for their own children and never, ever give up.

At least I hope that is what they will learn.