I feel it would be better if you minded your own business.

That's what I should have said when the women at Bi-Lo commented on my oldest son's tan. "He really should be wearing sunscreen. You don't want him to get skin cancer." Translate that into "Oh, you're a terrible lazy mother who doesn't care about her child."

Instead I told her that he does indeed wear sunscreen. He wears Bullfrog spf 36 spray. But he's tan because he spends a lot of time outside. A. lot. of. time. And he has inherited his mother's skin which tans very easily.

To which she actually replied, "He's outside all the time? Doesn't he play video games?'

I kid you not.

Totally Random

My youngest children will often spontaneously start singing. One will start with a couple of words then the other will join in seamlessly often without even noticing that they are singing.
More often than not this is the song they are singing this song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjcH2UmK1uo
(I can't embed for some reason.)

Oddly enough this song bothers DH way more than it bothers me. He seems to get upset when the two little guys launch into singing this in the middle of Lowe's

So who wants to come over and help me unpack?

We camped!
Friday we loaded up all the camping gear for our family of 6 and the food needed for dinner for 50 and we headed up to the lake for our Pack crossover camp out.
The weather in town was bad, but it was gorgeous at the lake.
We set up camp, had dinner, then the dad and older boys skipped stones on the lake while the smaller guys and siblings pretty much tossed rocks as far as they could to make the biggest splash possible. Then they explored every path they could find and thankfully, no one fell into the lake.
When the sun set, we started a campfire and gathered around it to make s'mores. After all the s'mores were eaten the boys all did skits, every scout and sibling was involved and most were quite funny. Oldest DS is a Boy Scout and he taught the Webelos all the skits that his patrol has done.

Saturday morning started out sunny. We had a flag ceremony, had a couple of hours of den time, and started playing some games with the pack. Storms rolled in around 3 pm and put a halt to our pack hike.
But it didn't stop the fun. The Assistant Scout master and a couple of parents started dinner under one end of the pavilion and the boys played other end. The played cards, practiced walking on stilts, and joked and laughed. My oldest taught the Webelos how to play poker. I cringed when I realized what he'd done but the parents found it funny. And the Webelos felt very grown up and were quite hysterical. When the thunder stopped, they went out into the rain and played stick ball, dodge ball, and kickball... on a slick field covered in slick Georgia Clay. If the level of filthiness is an indicator of the amount of fun they had, then these boys had a ball.

After dinner, we were supposed to have a big bonfire and bridge the Senior Webelos to Boy Scouts and the other scouts up to the next rank. But the rains didn't let up. So we moved the ceremony under the pavilion and it was just as wonderful and special. Every boy had a big smile on his face as he received his new neckerchief.
And because I wouldn't abandon the night s'more making, we fired up a propane burner and then the boys roast the marshmallows over the blue flame. (Which was much faster roasting than over a fire.)
Then we had more skits, some involving the Boy Scouts. All the boys sat in mixed groups. New Tigers with Wolves, Bears, and Webelos. The new Senior Webelos invited the new Junior Webelos to do a skit with them. (The younger boys looked so proud that I feared they might burst!)
Right before lights out, two Order of the Arrow Scouts shot flaming arrows over our meeting area and out into the lake....one arrow for the new Boy Scouts and one for the Cub Scouts.
Very, very cool!
Sunday morning we woke to more rain but everyone was cheerful as we packed up and cleaned the campsite.

One new Wolf yelled out his window as his Dad drove away, "When are we going camping again!" That question was echoed many more times before our family left for home.
I guess I'd better get busy planning the next one.

Almost.....

The camp out is almost here and pretty soon my life will be back to relative normal.
Until then here's a little update.
ZD has been travelling....a lot. In fact he's out west this week and is absolutely no help to me whatsoever. He'll be back in time for the actual camping.

We got a new cat. She's not here right at this moment because she was spayed today and is at the vet's under observation. Her name is Cleo and she was a stray on post. She's about 18 months old. She spent the last 4 months living at the Veterinary center in a small kennel...waiting for a home. She spent the previous 14 months trying to survive and having more kittens than her body could support. She's about 6 pounds and you can tell that she was malnourished during her formative months. She's sweet as can be and already fits right into the household.

Baseball is still going strong. We'll miss this week's games due to the camp out. Oldest boy took a hard pitch off his knee cap at the first game. It hurt him for a while but he's back to 95% now. Second boy is playing catcher and loving it. Third boy is getting a hit in every game...which shocks ZD and I. He just loves to play and is quite oblivious to any sort of competitiveness. And Sam, well, he hasn't knock anyone out yet. I'm glad he'll be moving out of t-ball next year. We really should have played him up this year.

Thankfully, we don't have games next weekend. ZD and I had planned a little couples retreat for the long weekend. With his work schedule and all my stuff, our weekends are full. We're so busy working and being parents that we don't have enough time to just be husband and wife. But, I overlooked an all day play practice for the boys so there goes our little trip together. (Seriously, who the heck schedules practices for Memorial Day Weekend. Especially in an area that ends school that week!)
I'm trying very hard to not be angry about it and failing miserably.

School is just about done. Then it's time for my favorite time of the year. PLANNING!
No, just kidding. I get to spend all day at the pool. Monday through Friday, from 10 am to 2 pm....if you need me, I'll be at the pool. This children are counting down the days until May 26th. The swimsuits are all located, the towels are clean, and we have new pool toys. All we need are snacks and sunscreen.
(Which reminds me....."theatre week" will encroach on my pool time. snarl I swear, next time someone says, "Oh come join the homeschool drama. It will be fun. Your kid will love it." Please smack me. Scouts takes up less time than this play has. Cub and Boy Scouts combined.)

Nobody bought me any peanuts

We had four baseball games today starting at the oh-my-gawd time of 8:30 am. That meant I had to get four boys in baseball uniforms, with gear and water bottles, out of the house by 8 am....on a Saturday.

We started with the littlest guy's t-ball game. Ha, ha, ha....it was insanity. Total chaos. Anarchy in team uniforms.
I can quite safely say that my kid was not the worst kid on those two teams. The hilarity was worth the early morning wake-up. T-ball games always end in a tie because they don't start getting out until mid-season.

Next was the 7 year-old's machine pitch game. He was worried that he wouldn't get a hit, but he got two. He got left on 2nd base the first inning, and then got out at 3rd in the 4th inning. Other than his team's unfortunate team jersey color, everything is perfect. Great coaches. Fun kids. Wonderful parents. They won due to some creative base running and an amazing catch made by the 3rd base player. Every adult watching on both sides was cheering for this kid when he caught that ball.

My oldest two played at the same time so ZD and I split up. We kept each other updated on the cell phones. My "serious one" , DS2, was catcher and got 3 hits. Including one that rolled out to the fence. It wasn't enough to save the game and they lost by 4 runs. But he coach was impressed that he caught the whole game in almost 90 degree weather and never once complained.
DS2 has no depth perception at all due to some vision issues that have not been corrected even with numerous surgeries. ZD and I have stopped trying to figure out how he can hit a baseball so well. He just can.

Oldest boy was the clean up batter for his team. On his first pitch, he was hit right on the knee. The pitcher was a friend of his and he felt terrible. It was bad enough that he had to have a pitch runner who ended up scoring the first run of the game. After sitting out an inning, he was back out in center field. He kept ice on it while in the dug out and felt good enough to risk batting again. He managed to get a hit and score a run. It wasn't graceful though, that's for sure.
His team won by 5 runs.
But the umpire warned him that he would need to ice and elevate his knee after the game. I thought it was an over reaction until I got a good look at his leg.
Holy Cow!
The impact was enough to break the skin and he has an egg size lump on his knee. I'm sure glad I didn't know that during the game.
He's walking on it fine right now, so I guess it's nothing to be worried about. He says it doesn't hurt unless I poke it. (Mom's are required to poke things to see just how bad they are. It's in that long list of "things moms can do" that is printed on the back of their birth certificates.)

After all that baseball, we still had to get haircuts and go to scouts. Now I'm just downright exhausted. But at least I'm not sunburned like ZD is.
If he would have shared his peanuts....I would have shared my sunscreen.

Ok, I'm back on top of the pile

I made it through Monday and Tuesday. My first official Pack meeting at Cub master went well. The boys learned magic tricks from the ACM while I went over information with the parents, answered questions, talked about where I wanted to direct the pack, and encouraged everyone to get involved.
This morning a recently bridged Boy Scout parent who was at the meeting emailed me to ask for a small job that she could do to continue supporting our pack. That made my day.
The camp out preparations are coming along and don't seem as overwhelming as they previously were. I just need to figure out how to cook a spaghetti dinner outside in the woods for uh....100 people. No biggie, right?
I wonder if I can cook the ground beef ahead of time and freeze it?

If anyone has any ideas for games, activities, or a method for cooking garlic bread without an oven, please let me know.

I can use all the help I can find.

Pop!

At about 11:23 this morning, my head exploded.

You may have heard it if you live in the south east. But then again, you may not have. I haven't straightened my hair today so the hair poof may have muffled most of the sound.

At 11:35, I closed the laptop, took a deep breath, and tried to find my happy place.
Unfortunately, my happy place seems jammed with laundry, Standardized tests, camping gear, and a pack leader roster that is getting smaller and smaller.

Whew.

I have a lot going on through the end of May.
I have homeschooling to do. The boys are all playing baseball and 2 of them are in a homeschool play. There is Boy Scouts and Cub Scouts. I'm planning events with my local Homeschool support group and I have to oversee standardized testing. And I'm Cubmaster of a pack that has some burned out leaders who have been carrying too big of a load for too long of a time. I have to plan a camp out and bridging ceremony in less than 3 weeks. I have to meet with committee and schedule next years' activities and somehow convince people to get involved with some of this stuff so the same 5 people aren't doing all the work. And I have to plan tomorrow nights pack meeting. I just remembered that. (sigh)

Adding to my stress is ZD's new work and travel schedule and my mom's upcoming eye surgery. My sister is expecting a new grandbaby soon and will be out of town, which means I have to take care of mom's stuff. ZD is working so hard at the new job that he is not available to help even when he is town.

And there is tutoring and speech therapy. Yard work must be done. The house has to be cleaned. I need to pay bills. The dogs have to go tot vet. And darn it....I would like to knit some.

I won't have a day off until ...... May 24th.

So if you "see" me anywhere and it looks like I'm really not there ... it's because I'm sorting Scout information, or doctors appointments, or trying to figure out where I'm supposed to be next and how I'm going to get there on time.

Playroom adventures

The youngest two boys are involved in a battle of epic proportions.

Darth Vader in his Imperial Tie-Fighter is currently attacking a group of Playmobil Vikings.
Lucky for the Vikings, Yoda is manning the helm of the longboat.
A Fisher Price pirate ship is on the way over.
I'm not sure whose side it will be on though. The entire crew is below deck waiting for a surprise attack.

And I've just noticed that a Lego Harry Potter is also involved. He and Yoda are using the Force and magic to throw Lego rocks at Vader.
That hasn't stopped Vader from breaking off the longboat's mast.

I'm waiting for the Pokemon figures to get involved.

Oh crap....General Grevious just showed up. I think the Vikings will need a lot more fire power.

Somebody break out the "Pomp and Circumstance"

After 5 years of Occupational Therapy, thousands of dollars and hundreds of hours, daily exercise, and buying all kinds of therapy equipment....today the two middle boys had an OT assessment.

They have finally reached that elusive 45th percentile. (And actually higher in most areas.)

They have matriculated from OT.

Sure, there's still some work to do. But overall, they have made such progress. That little boy that couldn't walk from the waiting room to the therapy room without falling down 2 or 3 times.....he can hit a pitched ball and run the bases. The little guy who couldn't put his hand together to catch a beach ball....he can catch a baseball in his glove almost every time.

And his older brother who was once a collections of tics and twitches, can sit peacefully, write neatly, and I'll be danged....the boy can seriously hit. He roller skates and can pop a wheelie on his bike. And he makes the most beautiful beaded jewelry that you have seen from a 10-year-old. (He's started working with sterling silver.)

I'm so proud of them. I was told tht this day might never come but I knew it would.

Now whatever will I do with that extra 3 hours a week?

An unexpected day off

This morning, I woke with the realization that I was going to have a really, really crazy day.
I lie in bed going planning out my day mentally.
First, get all four boys up, fed, and started on school work. Then the two middle boys had speech at the local public school.
After lunch, we had to gather up the baseball supplies, order new cleats for the oldest boy (They don't sell his size in the stores.), and then head over to the sports place to buy a new glove, a new bat, and some baseballs. (I think the cat has been eating the baseballs in the off season. And you would think that with a dozen baseball gloves and a half dozen bats, that each child would be able to find one of each to suit them.)

After shopping, I would pack drinks and snacks for the evening then grab my great-nephew from school. Said school is half an hour from my house in the opposite direction of the baseball fields. Then turn around and drive 45 minutes to baseball practice. 5 kids with practice from 4:30 to 7:30.
Then I planned to pick up pizza before heading out to a meeting at 8 pm. (I planned on being a little late to the meeting.)

But speech was cancelled due to a meeting at the school.
All the children managed to find gloves, hats, and bats that they felt were appropriate. Everything was quickly packed into the truck along with chairs, snacks, and water bottles.

Then one by one, all four coaches called to cancel practices. The recent rains have flooded the fields and practicing on them would tear up the new grass growth.

At least I'll make it to my meeting on time.

I wouldn't have put money on it.

The youngest one is 5 and let's just say that he inherited his mother's talking gene.

Today is a beautiful ,albeit, windy day. It's also the first day of Spring Break and the neighborhood is infested with children to play with.

As I tried to convince the youngest boy to go outside and play, he told me that he couldn't go outside because of the bees.

Yep, that was his explanation."Because of the bees. I can tell the difference. Not the boys from the girls because they all look alike. I can tell the bees from the wasps. And those are bees.....plus it's windy."

I paused to register all this explanation and he continued, "The wind is blowing really hard and a bee might just get caught in the wind and blow into me and sting me. Even if he, or it might be a girl...even if she didn't even want to sting me."

Now, we don't have a bee problem. There are bees in the area because there are flowers. We don't have bee hives nor have I seen a mass migration of stinging creatures, so I'm not sure where this worry comes from. So I told him to take his chances and go outside anyway.

Wouldn't you know it, as soon as he stepped outside, a bee was blown into him.

She didn't sting him. Thank goodness. I would have never heard the end of that if she had.

Watch out for bees. Flying or wind-borne.

Day 1: Sea World

Day one of our vacation to sunny Florida, had us visiting all the critters at Sea World. (And let me point out that the ticket price for Sea World is insane! We would not have gone if not for the "Salute the Heroes" tickets.)

We got to pet the dolphins.

This is the dolphin nursery. There were a couple of juveniles and several round "Mommies." The momma dolphins would occasionally do a trick or two which was so sweet.

Here's one of the Busch Clydesdales. These horses are huge! I heard the "clop, clop, clop" behind me and was completely gobsmacked when I turned around. The guy handling the reins was over 6 feet tall.

Last time I was at Sea World, I saw a baby sea lion born in this very tank. The keepers had to jump in and grab him because all the female sea lions started fighting over the new cub. Now you can buy fish and feed the sea lions.....none of my crew wanted to touch dead fish so we just watched.

We did touch these though.

These are cownose rays and are quite a bit bigger than the ones at the Georgia Aquarium. Sam was the most prolific "ray toucher." They seem to go out of their way to swim up to him.

Did you know that Sea World now has rides? This is the Kraaken.

The orange shirt in the second to the last seat is the oldest boy. This was his first roller coaster.....ever. It was a bad choice.

The things scared the heck out of him. He used it to compare every ride afterwards, "It wasn't as bad as the Kraaken."

And in an even worse moment of judgement, we took all the boys on this ride.

The Journey to Atlantis. Even I freaked out because I thought it was just one drop and that was the whole ride. Nope.

There's three drops...all about this high. And there's a roller coaster part inside the building...in the dark.

I'll have to scan the picture of us from the ride to show you the children's looks of abject terror.

I felt so bad afterwards. But they were able to ride a lot more stuff in WDW that they would have because, "it's not as bad as the journey to Atlantis."

Then we visited the star of the place.

There's Shamu. And this was the last picture my old camera ever took. Right after this one, Shamu's Daddy came out and did a lap in the show tank.
Let's just say that....that whale can splash a lot of water with that tail of his.

And just for your information, 52 degree seawater does not have a good effect on video devices. I dropped the camera in my lap and covered the little ones when the water hit. (But at least I was better that the lady they featured on the jumbo tron....she hid behind her baby....who was small enough to wear a onesie. She's never going to live that one down.)

On our second day in FL, we had that freak weather that hit the southeast. It was too rainy to go to the parks, so I set out to buy a new camera.

So now instead of having lots of pictures like this.I can take pictures like this.

Cool! (That's uncropped and unedited....just straight off the memory card.) His eyes are really that pale grey.

He did it

This is the baby sporting his relatively new glasses and playing around with my old camera that I gave him.
"It's new to me," he said before setting out to figure out how to take pictures with it. He couldn't just let me show him how to use it.

Isn't he just the cuteness. (Y'all ignore my voice on there.)

Hey Y'all

Guess where I've been?

We took the boys on vacation to someplace warm and sunny. Well, a little warmer and somewhat sunny.

We had a fabulous time and I managed to get a new camera out of the experience. (More on that later.)

So to start the story....we have to begin in the van.

Day one: the drive.

Can anybody guess where we're off to?

Please excuse the crappy photography. I was driving while being chastened by the GPS to take the right exit but stay in the left lane. And attempting to dodge a dozen motorcycles.

Anybody recognize the skyline?

How wrong is it.....

That my 7 and 5 year olds are playing with their playmobil Roman coliseum and the figures from the playmobil Nativity set.....at the same time.
Yep, it's The Holy Family, a shepherd, two of the wise men, some Centurions, a few gladiators, and ....of course....lions.

In the sense of full disclosure, Santa Claus and a couple of pirates are also involved.
At least Noah and all the his folks are safely ensconced in the ark upstairs.

Laugh and the world laughs with you

Get really sick...and the world runs away screaming.

You remember that "cold" that I had. Well, it never really went away. It just lingered until I got so sick that I couldn't function. And then to add insult to injury....I got sicker.
Because ZD had to stay home and care for the minions, my wonderful sister took me to the ER in her brand new car with leather seats....and she didn't even require me to take a bucket with me.
After some IV drugs and some fluids, I felt almost human again. Almost. I had the same ER doc that I always get and he remembered me. (He even asked how my ankle was doing.) That doesn't really reflect well on me that ER doctors know who I am.

The next day, I went to my physician who chastised me for not coming in sooner. Honestly, I thought it would just go away and that I was being a big baby.
There I discovered that I have a low grade fever, fluid in my ears, heavily congested lungs, and am still dehydrated. Hmmmm....that would explain the shortness of breath and general malaise...and the ear ache. (I have an ear infection....what am I? Four years old?)
ZD spoke to him over the phone and he filled the doc in all the stuff that I would avoid mentioning. (No energy, not sleeping, sleeping too much, no appetite, forgetfulness beyond my normal amount.) Apparently, ZD has gotten concerned about my well being.
So doc did a whole bunch of blood tests and put me on 2 weeks of antibiotics. I go back in two weeks to see if I am better or need more stuff done.

I hate getting medical care but I don't want to be sick when we take of for the Happiest Place on Earth.

Why my children don't go to school.

It seems like every time I turn around, I am reminded why my children do not attend public school.

Today's reason centers around my 2 middle sons who have asperger's syndrome. They are funny, witty, wickedly smart, but disabled children. They have issues. I am honest about that. But their issues are due to a problem that has existed since birth and not due to character or parenting issues.

In other words, they do the very best that they can.

Today I read about 8-year-old Evelyn Towry and realized that if my boys were in school, that could have easily happened to either of them. Both of them go into a primal state when they are overstimulated. For them it is similar to the reaction of someone with a deep seated phobia that has been triggered. They will do whatever it takes to get out of the situation.

I know this. The boys' therapist knows this. Even our school therapist knows this. But I can guarantee that all the rest of the teachers at the school we are zoned for, do not know this.
I can see this happening at just about every school across this nation.


And that is wrong.


Our autistic children are not going away. We will not institutionalize them for being different. We will not hide them from the public. We will not allow them to be treated as inferior people just because they want to wear a cow sweatshirt. They have the same rights guaranteed int he constitution as every other person in the is country.

Aren't we supposed to be embracing diversity these days? Aren't we all supposed to be more enlightened nowadays? And just how threatening is a cow sweatshirt anyway?


Bev, an autistic adult whose blog I read faithfully, co-oped the diddy:

We're here.

We're weird.

Get used to it.

Coughing, achng, stuffy nose, fever....these kids won't let me get any rest

Actually, I am feeling better today. I started a cough and that's not fun.

But I also discovered that ZD pays more attention than I realized. He gave me a stash of chocolate for Christmas. I ate the Godiva chocolate first. (of course)

Then I ate the little Ghirardelli squares. (I like to freeze the caramel ones.) After that, I alternated between Hershey kisses and frozen Milky Way bars.

That left me with this little gold wrapped candies from Dove.

Today, I tried one of those and found that they are creamy milk chocolate with caramel in them.

I would have eaten them before the Kisses if I had known that.

I got a blog award. Actually....I got two blog awards. First, Michelle at Whimsey Way gave me this award last month when I was swamped by Christmas.

Go visit her blog. She is an incredible homeschooler with way more creativity than I can muster on my very best days. I always learn something when I'm there and she has great music.

According to the rules, and I'm really bad at the rules, I have to link back to my awarder and then pass this award on to 5 others. Easy Peasy. I chose people whom I'd love to get together in one room, just to hang out. Y'all come on over.

First off is Kathy Jo at Barefoot Meandering. Boy mom, homeschooler, and knitter. I'm saving her a piece of land in our "Galt's Gultch." If nothing else, I'll get great joy from seeing Ernie in his Castro hat.

Second is Dy at Classic Adventures. If you want to see peace and love, then go visit the Forever Home. Even Dy's most chaotic moments, are incredible. I don't know how she does it all.

Third is Tammy at Tammy Knits. Who has 5 boys. Five of them. She knits beautifully, seriously beautifully. She posts pictures of them too. And she has a thing for Dr. House....which is another plus.

Fourth is Seanna, my IM buddy and go to girl on all political matters. She doesn't knit or homeschool. But I like her because she is the stuff of PTO nightmares and she's all crafty.

And lastly is Lisa at Hopewell takes on Life. She never gets down. She just keeps on going through whatever life throws at her. She's a teflon mom.

And speaking of Lisa, she gave me an award too. Talk about an embarrassment of riches.

Ok....so I decided that I would give award to the people who inspire me...that make me say "Gosh, I wish I could do that." Y'all can come over and hang out too. Hurry up now, the brownies won't stay warm forever.

First is Tish at Hoosier in the Hive. Tish does a lot of camping in incredible places. I envy her so bad because I am still here. And she is funny as heck.

Second is Jennie at Far Beyond Pearls. Jennie is the most amazing mom blogger. She just exudes peace. Really. I feel calmer when I read about her day.

Third is Becca at Foward Motion. Another knitter and homeschool mom. She's also a military wife. Since we don't get to travel anywhere, I can live vicariously through her. I wish she'd find out where we're going soon. Or at least help me score some Wollmeise.

Fourth, is Donna "Booshay", I'm sure that most of you have been to her blog. She has the most beautiful pictures and has such a warm spirit. I enjoy my daily peek into her life.

And lastly is Sadie at It's a Boy's Life. Another boy mom and uber creative homeschool mom. You know all those salt dough maps and other creative stuff? She does it! Amazing!

This post has been disinfected.

I am sick.

Really sick.

And I don't get sick. Sure, I might get a little sniffle or two but never a real "cold."

I have one now though. Ugh! And it's a bad time for me to be sick. We have stuff going on every weekend and most of the week days. Stuff that I can't get out of either. I just have to suck it up and drive on.

I have learned a few valuable things so far this week.
1. I cannot take Tylenol cold medicine and expect to stay vertical. It does alleviate my symptoms but has the unfortunate side effect of making me feel like a bobble head.

2. I cannot take Benadryl at night....not and sleep anyway. Adding further insult, the Benadryl makes me unfit to knit and doesn't help my cold at all. So I'm still stuffy but also jumpy, unable to sleep or knit.

Vicks vapor rub has been my dearest friend, but you can't go out in public reeking of Mentholatum. I'm hoping that ZD will bring home a wonder drug that will help me sleep, function, and get better quick.

For his sake as much as mine. I've sufficiently germ'ed up the entire bed, blankets, and all the pillows. And he's the only one in the house that has escaped this little virus.

Word for 2009

So, I'm jumping on the "Word of the Year" bandwagon and picking a word that will be my goal for the year. A word to remind me of what I should be doing.

My word for 2009 is Order.

Order in my household. Order in my parenting. Order in my priorities. Order in my activities. Order in my family life.

Order so I can find the time to do all the things I want to do for myself and my family.