Killing time

The bad thing about having a deployed spouse is that you live your life in a "waiting" sort of mode.
We wait for phone calls.
We wait for them to come home to visit.
We waiting for them to come home for good.

All the other things that we do in between the waiting, are just the stuff we do to pass the time.
And all those "other things" are the things that our deployed family members miss the most.

The people at home are waiting for the big things....homecomings.
The people deployed are waiting to enjoy the little things...all that other stuff.

So I'm killing time. Days to go. One hands worth. And the world just keeps on spinning around me.
(Which reminds me of the joke: God planned for Autistic children....that's why he made the world spin around, and around, and around.)

Tiny things fill the day. Mini crises and little moments of joy. In the middle of a time out for downright awful behavior, baby S asked me to sit beside and "sing to me, Momma."
And I sang until he calmed himself down enough to function with his brothers again.

A...always so happy and kind of oblivious... broke down in tears when I explained that the cat ran from him our of fear and not in form game of tag. He doesn't understand the body language in people or animals and is heartbroken to find out that he was scaring his pets. As cruel irony, cats don't understand his tear filled apologies.

M who I usually have to force to read, forgot the clock and read an extra 15 minutes while engrossed in a story. Then he excitedly told me the details that he liked the best. I fought to urge to ask questions and just let him tell me what he thought was important. (He said that if he and his brothers were only 3 inches tall, I wouldn't have to cook as much food, the dishes would be quick to wash, and I could do all the laundry in just one load.)

And the oldest one, J, just came downstairs for a glass of water...an hour after lights out. I noticed that he had his book light in his hand.
"Were you up this late reading?" I asked.
An embarrassed smile was answer enough.
"The chapter ended in suspense, so I had to read the next one just to get to a good stopping point."

The little things.
But the little things are everything.